Think Like a Warrior

by Darrin Donnelly

Think like a warrior SUMMARY

In writing summaries my aim is to highlight the dominant themes of the book. I utilize paraphrasing and interpretation to convey these themes in my own words. Along the way, I include direct quotes from the author, along with thoughts of my own, that are intended to support or expand on what the author has presented in the book.

The word warrior dates back to around the 14th century in the English language. It was then, and for many centuries applied to those who were experienced in warfare. The term warrior is still appropriately applied to any person that has experienced and/or is skilled in warfare, however it has also come to be applied to persons who display determination, courage, assertiveness, and perseverance in the face of struggle, pain, or conflict.

In Think Like a Warrior, Darren Donnelly lays out the warrior mindset through the use of a fictional narrative. It is about a football coach whose career and personal life go through ups and downs over the course of the book. The main character experiences dream-like mystical encounters with 5 sports greats and learns from each one of them.

The author describes having an unstoppable mindset as equivalent to having a “warrior mindset.”

Your mindset is determined by your inner beliefs. Beliefs that you are free to choose.

In Think Like a Warrior, Darren Donnelly offers five inner beliefs that guide the warrior mindset.

The first of these beliefs is shared by John Wooden, coach of the UCLA basketball team for 27 years and holder of 10 national championships.

Wooden shares that focus on “effort and attitude,” is to be paid attention to above all else.

Effort and attitude are within our control, results on the scoreboard are not.

The results on the scoreboard are a result of our effort and attitude. When we focus on what is out of our control (results, score, others, criticisms) we give up our ability to respond effectively in the present moment.

We don’t have control over others, only ourselves and our process of pursuing success.

The final score on the board is not the best indicator of our success. The best indicator of success is knowing we that we gave our maximum effort.

Anything that we can control exists in the present moment. When we focus only on what we can control we ultimately must be present to this moment and this moment only. We cannot control the past or the future. We can only control what we are doing in this moment (effort) and how we do it (attitude).

When we focus on our effort and attitude we have the added power of being in the present moment and not lost in a conceptual past or future.

By staying in the present moment we stay at the point of performance and our performance is the result of our effort and attitude. All of which are in our control. The results will take care of themselves.

Belief #1. “I focus on only the things I have total control over: my effort and my attitude.”

The next encounter the main character has is with Buck O’Neil, the first African American coach in Major League Baseball.

Buck shares that responsibility for enjoying the work you are doing is all up to you. “Only you can take the joy out of your life.” A positive perspective, passion, enthusiasm, and gratitude come from within, no one but you can give that to yourself.

Self-doubt, worry, bitterness, and resentment damage our ability for experiencing love. It damages our ability to do what we love and love what we do. Our passion for life gets swamped by negativity, defeat, and apathy. It’s up to us to pursue the life we want to live in the way we want to live it. No one is going to hand us the life we want or the joy we want.

There is no such thing as a never ending string of perfect time, place, or situation. We will always find something to be dissatisfied with and that is normal. The key is to remember to practice love and gratitude in the face of obstacles. From this vantage point, every obstacle is an opportunity to approach life with an attitude of love and gratitude. It is a choice. We can live in hate and resentment or we can live in love and joy.

Belief #2. “I love what I do and I attack each day with joy and enthusiasm.”

The next encounter the main character has is with Herb Brooks, the head coach of the 1980 United States Olympic Championship Hockey Team.

Herb warns about the pitfalls of coasting through life. He explains the difference between a manager and a leader. A manager does just what the title implies, a manager maintains. Maintains the current standard.

A leader on the other hand sets new standards. Higher standards that are uncertain because they reach upward towards unexplored and yet to be achieved goals. These are not the certain and readily achievable status quo paths of a manager. They are the paths of big dreams that begin with the belief of what is possible. It is important to dream without limits and when limits show up in our beliefs, to push back and let our dreams be limitless.

Herb stresses that experiencing failure is part of being a leader. In fact failures are guaranteed and necessary to making big dreams come true. It means that you are taking action, that you are out of your safe “manager” comfort zone.

Pursuing your dreams is a process that comes with difficulty and that difficulty can lead to choosing and believing in limits that lead to abandoning the dream. Or it can lead to choosing and believing in limitlessness that leads you boldly on in the direction of your dream.

It takes courage to dream big and to pursue those dreams. It takes courage to learn from failures and to get back up again and again.

Set your goals high. Higher. Set big, crazy, unreasonable goals. How will you know what you are capable of if you don’t allow yourself the opportunity to chase monumental dreams and goals.

“To be a leader, you must have the courage to dream big, to commit yourself to those dreams, and to relentlessly pursue those dreams no matter what obstacles you face. Your team, your family, and everyone you come into contact with are all depending on you.”

If you don’t feel alive try this - set big goals for yourself and commit to doing what it takes to achieve them.

Naysayers will be everywhere.

There will be naysayers in our external world that tell you to give up on your dream. Some of the naysayers will be well intentioned and some will not when they provide this advice.

There will also be naysayers inside of your world, the world of your mind, that tell you to give up on your dreams.

When the internal naysayers show up, just know that they are based on fear. Fear of failure. This fear based naysaying will work hard to get you to quit.

You can ignore all the naysayers, the external ones and the internal ones. Use naysayers as a springboard for shifting the focus from the reasons why it can’t be pursued to the reasons why it can.

Big dreams need to start with a firm belief. That belief must be translated into committed action. That committed action must be poured into doing the work and that work must be supported in order to persevere towards your dream.

Belief #3. “I dream big and I ignore the naysayers. I set huge goals for myself and I fully commit myself to achieving those goals.”

The next visit is from Paul “Bear” Bryant, head coach of the University of Alabama football team for 25 years and holder of 6 national championships.

Bear shares his strategies for “mental toughness,” “accountability,” and “perseverance.”

Mental toughness is a choice. It’s a habit each of us can build. When we choose mental toughness, we choose to push the limits of what we believe we can accomplish and endure. We set goals that require us to go to the limits of our ability to handle adversity and pressure. And then confront that adversity and pressure with unwavering belief in our ability to not only face the challenge, but to eclipse it. In order to do so, we must put preexisting limiting beliefs to the test by challenging them with limitless beliefs and translate those limitless beliefs into daily committed action.. We allow for a mental toughness belief upward spiral to be developed by pushing our limits and breaking through those limits on a daily basis.

Our beliefs dictate the level of goals and expectations we set for ourselves. Many of us quit on our goals and expectations because we place mental limits on ourself and never reach anywhere near our true potential.

Mental toughness is not just about kicking ass and taking names, it’s also about getting knocked down on our ass and knowing that we will get back up without resorting to blame, backing down in shame, or quitting.

As much as we can create a mental toughness upward spiral through belief and action, we can also create a quitting spiral. Each spiral gets easier with each action that we commit to and string together. It’s all about choosing which path in life we will take, toughness or quitting. Each is a habit and we get to choose between building a habit of toughness or a habit of quitting.

“It all starts with the belief that you can handle whatever challenge you’re facing. You can go further. You can withstand any trouble that comes your way. If you believe that, if you believe that deep in your gut, then nothing can beat you down. Nothing at all.”

When we are in a mentally tough mindset, we know that setbacks are only temporary. We stay focused on the big picture and know that powering through tough times is its own reward. Instead of quitting, excuse making, or blaming, we take responsibility for how we handle ourselves in the here-and-now and for the future.

“The pain of a hard days practice is temporary. The disappointment of a loss is temporary. The problem that came out of nowhere is temporary. Tough times never last and champions recognize that.”

When we give over to a quitter’s mindset, we magnify setbacks and problems, when we use a mentally tough mindset, we see the problems in relation to the big picture and are better able to engage and attack the setbacks and problems.

We can use anger to fuel our motivation, our focus, our determination, and our performance. Use it to fuel what is in our control, not to waste time and energy blaming all the things that are out of our control.

Keep a positive attitude and expect problems. A positive attitude doesn’t mean you reject problems. A positive attitude means you know that problems happen and that you have the ability to face them and overcome them.

“Expect problems and expect to overcome them.”

Positivity is not the same as wishful thinking. Positivity is an energy that helps us face problems effectively.

“The only way to be certain about anything is to make the commitment to never giving up… If you make that commitment to never quit, you’ll carry a mental edge with you wherever you go. You’ll know that nothing can stop you. You’ll know that success is certain in the long run…. Make the commitment to being unstoppable and there’s no limit to what you can accomplish.”

Belief #4. “I am relentless and I will never give up on my dreams.”

The next visit is from Vince Lombardi, head coach of the Green Bay Packers where he led the team to 3 straight NFL championships.

“Winning is not everything, but making the effort to win is… the will to win is everything.”

The will to win requires confidence. We will only rise as high as our confidence allows us, especially when facing uncertainty or the unknowable.

Often we can face the unknowable with fear and that makes us less confident and less capable to face the unknowable.

”Whether you walk into the unknown with faith or fear determines your future.”

Defeatism is everywhere. A defeatist is defined as a person who expects or is excessively ready to accept failure.

Lombardi shares that the antidote to defeatism is confidence. Confidence feeds faith and faith feeds confidence. They grow together and it is our choice to grow them.

It is also our choice to slip into a defeatist mindset. This can happen when fear sets in and we have forgotten that we have a choice between a path of faith or fear.

When our confidence and faith start to slip we can be certain that fear is at the root of it. Confidence can shine out from us like a light and illuminate the way through uncertainty. Conversely a lack of confidence casts darkness all around and dims the way through uncertainty. Each of these is palpable when present and can influence our abilities and the abilities of those around us to face the unknowable with courage and the will to win.

Confidence isn’t only a mindset. It is something we build through preparation. We prepare through learning, practicing, and committing time to improving.

We can study people who have found ways to be successful in the ways in which we are attempting to be. We learn by doing what they do. We practice what they practice. We learn from their struggles, triumphs, and process. In doing so, we begin to inhabit our own struggles, triumphs, and our own process. We become those that we admire through doing.

Build your inner voice that tells you that you have what it takes to succeed. Harness the power of self-talk. Watch out for defeatist self-talk and foster self-talk that encourages you to choose the path of faith and confidence in yourself and your ability to dedicate yourself to committing time to learning and practicing.

Use visualization to imagine and see your success. Be vivid in your imagination and use it to see yourself pursuing and accomplishing your goals. Take control of your visions. Most of us don’t take an active role in this and we just let our mind be in control of our visions, and most of those visions focus on all the things that have gone wrong in the past or that could go wrong in the future.

Dwelling on past mistakes increases our fear and decreases our confidence. It’s important to learn from our mistakes and then let them go.

There is a difference between being confident and arrogant.

“There’s a difference between being self-confident and being irresponsibly egotistical. Egotism stems from fear. Fear that you could be wrong, fear of not wanting to face the truth, fear of failing, fear of losing what you have. A person builds up a false confidence, a false ego, to try to protect himself from all these fears.”

Lombardi shares with us that “success follows faith and failure follows fear.”

Whenever we face a significant choice or decision it is important to ask yourself if the choice you are making is guided by faith and confidence or if your choice is being guided by fear and worry.

Belief #5. “I choose faith over fear.”